First Visit

My first visit to Curves went well, other than the fact I had a bursting headache. I woke up to a migraine day...

I knew it couldn't be good when it started with a headache and a sore spot the size of a half dollar on my forehead.

I immediately got up and took something, the wrong thing apparently, because it didn't work.

A few hours later I took something else, and it didn't help. The headache has progressively gotten worse as the day wears on.

I had the appointment at noon today, so I went for my weigh in, measurements and first workout. My weight was no surprise, I weigh sometimes on a daily basis. The scales are right there in the bathroom, so each morning I usually stumble over and weigh, as though I think maybe just maybe somehow it will be different, better; less...but it stays pretty consistent--FAT!

The measurements were a surprise. I don't do measurements...I just know by the size of my clothes that the measurements are too large...

A 12/14 may not be much for some people, but my body structure and my build doesn't need to be that big. I don't carry weight well...I am under tall and over wide!! I should be wearing an 8 and no larger for my bone structure.

My goals are to wear a 6/8 and be 40 pounds lighter...we will see if I can achieve it and how long it takes. A couple of years ago it only took me three months or so to lose 20 pounds. All I did then was cut my caloric intake to 1200-1500 calories a day, quit drinking Dr Pepper, started eating fruits and veggies and lean meat. I cut way down on the bread and pasta's, and didn't eat after 7:00 or so at night. If I did eat anything after then it would be a light snack, like an apple or yogurt with a little fruit. I rarely exercised...I almost seemed to easy...I suppose because it was to easy to take off, it was even easier to give up those good habits and gain it all back in half the time it took to take it off.

I would once and for all love to get rid of this demon...this monkey off my back...I started thinking, what if? What if I could lose it, what if I could actually be happy with my body and my weight again after all these years of fighting with it?

I think I need to start asking myself every day---What if? What if I did this or What if I did that? Then what? Could I change my life that way? Could I accomplish things I have only dreamed about?

Those Forty Pounds are my what if?

What is yours?

For a little motivation I have these photo's of myself from 20 years ago. I was wearing my bathing suit and I can't believe I looked like that. Not that I had a perfect body, far from it, but I was at a good weight for my size and height. I was in fairly good shape because I walked a lot back then.

These photo's are going to be my inspiration. I am going to look at them every morning and at any time through out the day that I feel tempted to snack or eat something I shouldn't. Especially when I am tempted to drink Dr Pepper by the gallons like I tend to do. Hopefully they can be the push I need to really follow through and make it happen this time.

Battling the weight demon is one reason I want to get into better shape, but another reason has to do with getting older, and feeling older. I want to feel better physically and mentally. I got to thinking one day that Noah weighs 40-41 pounds and for me, it is like I am carrying Noah around everywhere, because I have this extra 40 pounds on me that I don't need. No wonder I stay so tired and I am dragging. Because when I do actually carry him around, I get very tired...Having an extra 40 pounds on my body is just that, carrying around my child everywhere I go all the time. That is very hard on my body and I need to get that off so I can feel much better. It is bad enough just with the normal getting older syndrome, but going into it with extra pounds, makes it much worse...

Hopefully today's momentum will continue and carry me through. If I could get through the exercise routine today, when my head is splitting, surely I can do it without much problem on the days I feel fine.