Friday, February 27, 2009
The other issue he brings up in the article has to do with believers who think you don't have the victory in your life because you have sorrow, or your feeling low. Sometimes we just have hurtful things to face in life, and some things you just can't jump up the next day and say "thank you God for sending me this trouble, I count it all joy to be going through this trial". Sometimes we have to have time to wallow around and feel the sorrow or feel the grief. It doesn't mean we aren't good Christians, or that we have lost our faith, it just means we aren't denying what we are feeling and what we are going through.
Follow this link to read Is Sorrow A Sin? by Tony Woodlief at WorldMag.com.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Why is it that girls can be so "catty" with other girls? What is it in girls that makes them see other girls as competition? I found this to be true when I was young, and apparently it hasn't changed. There are just some girls that can't rest unless they find someone (another girl) to try and destroy. Some girls are so insecure with themselves that they have to try to pull down other girls so they will feel better about themselves. And the ones that come as friends first to do it, really sicken me.
I am sure you know I am talking about someone my daughters age, of course I would love to be able to say it was my 13 year-olds peers acting in this childish way, but unfortunately, it is my almost 20 year-olds peers that are behaving in such a immature manner.
I am just appalled that people could act this way. I really should end this here, before I say something that I shouldn't say. Or something that I would regret. But when you see something unfairly being placed on your child, a mother's anger rises within and your instinct to protect your young from evil kicks in. Some people are really evil in their hearts. Sunday morning our assistant pastor read this scripture and I have thought on it all this week. It caused me to pray that God would search my heart, and purify my heart and my intentions. I want the inside to be reflected on the outside.
25Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.
26Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
22For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Here is a link to the Good Food website.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Click on the link above to see what an incredible place this is. And the great thing is, it is in North Carolina!! I so want to go here. I would love to go to so many of their classes! In fact, I would love to live near here and go all the time!!! Wouldn't it be so awesome to work in a place like this? Wow...
I ordered the catalog and have enjoyed just reading through it. In August they offer a weekend class called Learn to Play the Mountain Dulcimer.
I have a moutain dulcimer that I bought for myself when I was pregnant with Noah. We went to the Folk Festival in Mt View, Arkansas and I bought a dulcimer made there by McSpadden. I had always planned to take lessons, but you know how plans go astray. I have always loved the sound of the mountain dulcimer. I would love to go to this weekend to learn the basics of playing the dulcimer. Hopefully I will get to go.
There are so many things I would love to go there to learn. I think this would be the greatest way to spend a vacation or even a weekend.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
If I haven't mentioned it here before, I love kitchen stuff. I call it stuff, because it really isn't anything that would be necessary to own. It just makes kitchen duties more enjoyable. I suppose you could say, I am a collector of sorts.
Yes, I know I talk about downsizing and getting rid of unnecessary things, and I am doing that. However, some things are just fun and are done for enjoyment. I don't spend money on recreational hobbies; no gym memberships, not a lot of eating out, no going to movies, or other things along that line, so I have to have a hobby. Well I have several, but not all at once. But I digress...
One hobby I have is going to flea markets and antique stores. I could spend hours browsing around. I just do a lot of looking, and occasional buying when it is the right item at the right price. But mostly I talk myself out of buying because of lack of room, and the frivolity of the item...I have my lists of reason, so I usually find one or two to use on such cases.
Recently I have become fascinated by Fire King items. I especially like the color Jadite. So I was browsing ebay and ran across a few items that I placed a bid on. These are the ones I won.
These are from Fire King Jane Ray collection. They are jadite in color.
These three bowls are FireKing also but they are turquoise in color. The smaller two are vegetable bowls and the larger one is a splash proof mixing bowl.
Here are my nesting bowls. They are new and never used.
I love the colors.
Andrew came home one evening and saw me looking at FireKing on ebay and while out running errands that evening he came home with these. He is such a wonderful, thougthful man!
Thanks honey, these are an invaluable tool for me so I can recognize a bargain when I run across one!
I still haven't talked myself into buying this, but maybe eventually I will...
There are so many other memories that give me that warm fuzzy feeling of home. My grandma had a little song that she taught me and my children. When I asked around no one else could remember it, but it went like this:
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
In the photo above she is 43 years old. One year older than I am now...
She was born in 1912 in a place called Tillman, Louisiana. The place is no longer there, and hasn't been for many, many years. It was a mill town and when the mill was gone, so went the town.
She was the oldest of seven brothers and sisters. In a time when young women married and had children, she was twenty-seven before she married. She worked in other peoples homes and helped with the household duties and child care. In one such place, she met her husband.
He was a widower with seven living children. Only a few were still young enough to live at home. The older children had married or joined the military.
His name was Harvey Middleton Gibson and they married in January of 1940. In 1941 their first child was born, a daughter Betty. Then while expecting their second child, he became ill with bleeding ulcers, or possibly stomach cancer.
In May 1944 he was given a blood transfusion and died shortly after. Three months later their second child was born, a daughter, Brenda, my mother.
We called her Mawmaw. She was such a gentle woman. She tended toward the pessimistic side, but I suppose life circumstances seemed to slant her that direction. But she was a wonderful, loving grandma.
After the death of her husband she moved back into her family home with her parents. She would go at times to stay with other people and help in their homes, leaving her own children in the care of her parents. But in those times, in that place, her choices were limited.
I once asked her in my child-like way, why she had never re-married. I often wondered how different things would have been if she had re-married. She lived to be 94. Ninety years she wasn't married, only four she was, but in her mind she relived those four years over and over.
In her day, a girl dreamed of getting married and having a family. I suppose those were her dreams also. I know that she was disappointed when her dreams were taken from her. Yes, she had children, but without a husband she was stripped of much of the joy that went along with raising her children. I knew even as a child that there was a sadness about my grandma, I just didn't understand it until I got older. It is amazing how even without understanding that grief she carried, I harbored those feelings within myself. When I married, for years I feared that something would happen to Andrew. I feared that my life would mirror that of my grandma. It was only after ten years or more of marriage that I released that fear.
After her parents passing she remained in the family home. That home holds so many wonderful memories for me. That home was the one constant in my life. I knew that no matter what happened, I could go there and find love and acceptance and there would always been something on the stove to eat. I felt such comfort there.
My Grandma was many things; she was kind, gentle, good, meek, and a friend to many. She passed away June 27, 2007, quietly in her daughters home, just a few yards away from the home where she spent most of her life. At 94, it was only in the last few months of her life that she wasn't able to be alone at her home. Each time through the years that we would go back to Louisiana for a visit, on the morning we left, we would stop in to see her again. She would be in her kitchen, the smell of coffee in the air, cooking something. When the time came for us to go, she would follow us out onto her large front porch where we would hug and say our goodbyes. As we drove down the road she would stand there waving until we were out of sight.
When I close my eyes now, I can see her standing there in her duster or a long robe(depending on the weather), both arms in the air, waving goodbye...
Monday, February 16, 2009
23. Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
I once heard a preacher say that this scripture says: love one to another. He said that love for one another was a feeling, love to one another was an action. We should act on the love we feel by showing our love. We should act by doing for one another...
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Life is a process of becoming,
(Navy Pier-Chicago '08)
For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else,
and for everything you gain,
you lose something else
How Do I Love Thee?
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Friday, February 13, 2009
I didn't post yesterday and I am not really posting today. I have been working at the post office... And I am drained right now. I want to go to bed so I can get a full nights sleep...like that will happen on a Friday night!
You have to understand that Friday nights aren't conducive for sleep around here. I work on Saturday's and for some unknown reason I can't ever get a full nights sleep on Friday nights. For one thing, Friday night is youth activity night at our church. So that means the girls are gone for the evening, and well into the night. Usually Lauren's group is doing something no where near where Megan's group is and at different times. So that means I usually have to take Megan, and go pick her up. Usually late...By the time we get back home, I get into bed and settle down, Noah gets restless and wakes up, or the dogs start barking at something...a car in the neighbors driveway, someone walking on the street, a squirrel that decides to take its life into its hands by coming down into our yard with three dogs...
For whatever reason, the dogs will bark, or a fire truck will go sloooowwwwwlllllyyyyyy by the house with its siren on...
Then if I am lucky, (I say this sarcastically, just in case you don't hear the sarcasm in my words), Lauren will come in before 2:00am and occasionally bring company. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the company, but the walls in this house are paper thin. There must be nothing in between the wall boards at all, because I can hear every sound that is made in this house, especially when I am TRYING to get some sleep.
So once everyone is home safe and tucked into bed on Friday nights, I lie in bed thinking that I only have four hours left until I have to get up to go to work. So then I can't fall asleep, I am lying there wide away, thinking to myself how much I will regret this in the morning.
Then I hear Noah moving around in his room. His door will open and I will hear pitter-patter down the hallway. He will come climb in bed with Andrew and I. And when this happens there is no rest for anyone. He doesn't like to sleep right up next to anyone, so he will toss and turn, twist and move around until his head ends up at our feet, and his feet end up in our ribs and any other sensitive area of our bodies...
And all the while, I hear the clock ticking away, three more hours until the alarm goes off. (Not really ticking, I have an electric clock and there is no ticking, but I hear the minutes without sleep passing through my brain.)
At this point I began praying for sleep to come. I pray, thinking that maybe God has me awake to pray for someone. While praying, I fall asleep. Suddenly with an hour before my alarm clock is to sound the battle cry...I am bolted awake by the thud of the newspaper hitting the front door. I can envision my paper guy throwing the paper as hard as he can, pretending it is a missile and his target is me. It is payback for a car blocking him from easily pulling through our circle drive. Instead, someone, usually Lauren or one of her friends, has parked their car to far into the middle of the drive and he will have to pull in and then back out the way he came into the driveway. For this he will hit the door loudly with the rolled up paper so that it will wake me from the little slumber I am getting...
I am sure that he doesn't really do that, but at 5:00 in the morning, when I am trying to piece together four hours of sleep for the night, these are the thoughts I have about our paper guy.
I imagine that he is a little angry that he has to be out so early delivering papers to people who are lying in bed sleeping and he is going to make sure that if he has to be up "BY GOD, everyone else will be also."
So now, it is only minutes until my alarm will sound, telling me it is morning, time to rise and shine...
Because you know that unofficial motto of the post office:
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Oh the joy of childhood innocence!
Reminds me of a poem by Billy Collins. For those of you who have read my blog for a long time, you will know that I am a Billy Collins fan. Some people don't get him, but I so get his---I hesitate to say sense of humor--because it is poetry, but I suppose it would be his thought processes...
My favorite is Forgetfulness.(click on the link to read) But there are others that I equally enjoy.
The following is about a child aging and understanding the changes taking place in their life. But it is only the beginning...
On Turning Ten
The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.
You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier,
at nine a prince.
But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.
This is the beginning of sadness,
I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.
It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees.
~Billy Collins ~
Monday, February 9, 2009
Please pray that he will get well soon.
Nothing else going on here. I am pretty exhausted and my mind isn't working to well at the moment so I better hush before I say something completely off the wall and really scare ya!
I will end with a couple quotes.
All children are artists. The problem is how to remain
an artist once he grows up.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
When we have moved in the past, I always knew that God was there in the move. I knew that He was sending us where we needed to be to accomplish something He had for us to do. I struggled with the decision to leave Louisiana in 2000. I worried about being out of God's will. I prayed and sought God's will in the move. One night while sitting in church, our pastor at the time, Bro Robertson read a scripture for his text that night, and while standing there in that service, God gave me the peace that I had sought. I knew without a doubt that God was in it and we were going where God wanted us to be. He had opened that door. And I have always known that we were right where He needed us to be.
When coming to Little Rock four years ago, I felt God's tug for us to stay here. And things fell into place, Andrew got a job with a local company and we stayed. I knew there was a reason.
Little did I know then that those years would be years of testing and trial...
God brought us here for that purpose, He was doing a work in me, and I am sure in our family. I can only testify to what God has done in my life. Although the testing and trials haven't been easy, at times the load was so heavy, and I questioned the purpose. I know it was sent by God. Like the song says, "I never lost my faith".
There were times when I was so heavy and laden in the trial, that I could hardly hold myself upright. There were times I would go to church, and sit...and if you have ever been to any of our services you would understand that just sitting is a hard thing to do. But I would just sit and soak in the presence of God. I knew He was there, I saw Him moving among the people around me, but I was dry...I was in the trial. I was in the desert, the dry place. We all must go through them in this journey with God. But because of my strong faith, and because I have been in the journey so long, I knew God was there. I knew that God would never leave nor forsake me, no matter the trial, no matter how rough it got. Even when I couldn't feel Him there, I had faith that He was, and He was. I never doubted that God would eventually see me through, but none of us like to experience the pain that goes along with those times of testing and trial. I never lost faith, or thought of turning back, God has been to good to me. I never thought of turning away from God; where would I have gone?? Like I said earlier, I have been walking this journey to long, I've seen God do to much in my life and the lives of others around me. I've come to far to turn around now.
There were little things along the way. I like to call them little tokens of His love, that came my way, enough to keep me going, knowing they were sent from God just for me. Things that would only mean something to me. Things that God knew, I would realize were His doing.
I told God,
Friday, February 6, 2009
Last year sometime I listened to It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now: How to Create Your Second Life at Any Age also by Barbara Sher. So now I am looking for this new one Refuse to Choose so I can finally validate the reason I am like this...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I always love reading about all things farm related, because my dream is to eventually have another small farm. I miss my goats, chickens and rabbits. In the meantime, I can read and learn all I can about those things I love. This magazine along with Hobby Farms, and Mother Earth News are my favorites.
I just love this magazine!! Did I happen to mention that already?
But I don't want to get a new vehicle!
Normally, in my previous life, I would have raced out immediately looking for a new ride. But that was the old me, the before I simplified my life, me. Before I opened my eyes to the reality of the myth of the "American dream", me. That me, was racing through my life, trying to accumulate stuff, because we all know that the more stuff you have the happier you are, Right?
That was the me that just thought that car notes were something to be expected, the me that sought part of my identity through my possessions. Shallow you say, yes, I suppose I was shallow, along with millions of other Americans... But I am shallow no more! I have seen the light, opened my eyes, and realized there is a whole world of peace and joy and happiness without all of the---stuff. This is the me that could care less what the Jones' do, who are these Jones' people anyway? And why did I want to keep up with them???
Anyway, this me, the me that discovered the ***key to real happiness, and peace in my natural life, is fighting the prospect of buying a new vehicle. I happen to love "old Blue". She has been a great vehicle. And the best part about her is she is paid in full. For a year now we have been car note free...all four of our vehicles are debt free. I just don't want to think of throwing away good money on a vehicle, when I have a perfectly good one now that belongs to me... and no car note. Why would I want to give away a three hundred or so dollars a month just to drive a vehicle. Never mind the money for insurance and gas...When "old Blue" runs just fine and gets me where I need to go...and I don't have to pay someone to drive it...I did that already and now she is mine...debt free...
I do admit that Old Blue is a bit aged, she is a 1998 model. That makes her over ten years old. And she has over 100,000 miles on her...(which isn't much considering her age). If it weren't for the fact we were moving 900 miles away from my oldest child, I would never consider buying a new one. However, I know that old Blue won't make to many trips back and forth without trouble. Hard highway driving wouldn't be good for her. I will need to have a vehicle that I can depend on to travel many highway miles, because most of the time it will only be Megan, Noah and myself on the highways alone. Andrew will be working and unable to make many trips back and forth. Due to this reason, and this reason alone, I am consenting to look for a new vehicle. However, we have agreed to sell Blue and the jeep and put everything we get for them toward the purchase of the new one, so we can knock down some of the debt off the top.
Now I have to do some research and decide what kind of vehicle I want. My tendency is toward Ford's, I have always had good luck with a Ford. I have owned a Mustang, an Expedition, and two Explorers, along with a couple of Ford trucks, and a Ford Mini-Van. Never a problem with any of them. They were all great vehicles. I know I want an SUV, I need the space, and I don't really want a mini-van, but I don't want a gas guzzler either. Yes, the car I really want is a Harvest Moon Beige convertible Beetle, but, I don't think that would work well with two kiddo's and traveling, so I will forgo the Beetle for now.
If you know anyone looking for a great older Ford Explorer that would be great for running around town and will probably last another 100,000 miles with a little care, send them my way, I'll give 'em a good deal.
***The key to real happiness and peace in my natural life is living a more simplified life and enjoying what I have. I hate to use catchy phrases that so often or over used in our society. However, I have adopted one that I hear a lot lately.
Use it up, wear it out, or do without!
I kind of like that concept. I read an article recently that said,
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Happy Birthday little brother! I sure miss you. I know your in a much better place. But my heart still aches at your absence.
It seemed unfair when you were taken from us so young. You were just becoming an adult, you had so much ahead of you. You would be thirty-five now. I don't know why that drunk driver had to be on highway 10 that night, at that time, in that curve. I don't know why it seems like the innocent suffer and the guilty go on to live out their sorry lives...hurting more people and spreading evil...I don't know why you died that March night on the side of that road, and the careless, thoughtless, selfish person who wasn't concerned about anything but having a good time, getting drunk and partying, survived.
It seems so unfair! But I know that God was there that night, He was in control, and although it grieved His heart to see someone throwing their life away like Garry Fox was doing, He cared enough for you. You were His child, someone that loved Him and lived for Him, someone who was a light to all that knew him. God was there to bring you home to live eternally with Him.
He was merciful in the taking; you didn't suffer, your body was left in almost perfect condition, you looked so handsome...just as though you had just gone to sleep, and stepped into glory!
In my mind, I imagine all of our family that has gone on before, waiting there to welcome you home. As I imagine you doing for the ones who have come after you. I know Mawmaw was so happy to join you there. She grieved so much for you!
Daren, I miss you so very much, even more as the years go by...
You were such a sweet brother...I wish I could have just five minutes with you, to tell you just how much I love you, how wonderful it was to have you as a brother. I know I wasn't always the best sister to you. The teen years were crazy ones and I didn't always see that the most important people were my family, and not my friends or the "cool" crowd. I know that later you understood that in your own life.
You were such a blessing to all of us who had the opportunity to know you, and so many people have told us since you've been gone, just what a blessing you were to them. We all still miss you. In a few weeks it will be sixteen years without you. In a few years, you will have been gone, longer than you were here. But the impact you made will live on and on...
I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday and tell you just how much I love and miss you!
Although in heaven, you don't have to worry about birthday's or getting older, but each year that passes we will always mark with joy, the day you came into our lives and will always remember with great sadness the day you left...