Friday, February 6, 2009

I have nothing...


Like this empty bowl, I have nothing today... I am empty. I have nothing useful to share...
Noah has been sick and running a fever. We all know how it is when a little one is sick. It has been a quiet day, full of sitting around and holding little man. I haven't done any profound thinking, or contemplating the universe; its existence nor that of my own.
I did start reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. It is required reading for Lauren's English course in college. So I picked it up to read also. I think I may have read some of it before at another time.
I use to work in a library and read as much as I could during that time. I have always been an avid reader. I use to wish as a kid that I had some sort of machine that I could hook up to my brain and go through the library or a bookstore and absorb all the information in all the books instantly...I have always been like a kid in a candy store when I go to the library. Always checking out stacks of books at a time. Always more than any human could read in the allotted time. They were always due back before I could even get half way through them. I like fiction, but I really like non-fiction. I have scanned and read parts of so many books in my life time and stored up so much knowledge, if I could just retrieve it all...
But the problem is my computer memory is a little slow, and I can't seem to recall all of the facts about a particular thing that I read.
I do love reading...
Another thing I have started doing is checking out books on cd. So often I am busy and can't take time to sit down and read a book, but I am in the car a lot going here and there, so I will listen to the book on cd. I usually always have one going in my car all the time. The problem is, sometimes I just have to ride around to finish a chapter. Especially if it is a rather interesting book, I don't want to stop, so I sometimes drive into the drive way and just sit there listening until it comes to a place I can turn it off. I rarely listen to them at home. I don't really want to walk around the house with ear buds in my ears. I do that at work however. That is the one good thing about working like I do, while at the PO I can listen to my ipod while I work. I do the same while out on the route. I do listen to quite a diverse bit of things on the ipod. I love to download podcasts from itunes. I hear cooking programs, news programs, political and educational podcasts. I listen to crafting, sewing, and knitting podcasts, travel podcasts and health related podcasts. I have such a diverse interest that I could listen all day and not get bored. I actually rarely listen to music...
Speaking of diverse interest...
I read this very interesting blog the other day about a lady that went to a counselor and found out that she has a scanner personality. This piqued my interest, because she sounded so much like me...
She recommended a book by Barbara Sher called Refuse to Choose where she talks about the Scanner personality. I so identified with this. I think I have discovered why I am the way I am...
I finally found my excuse...
I am currently reading I Could do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher and I have her other book, Wishcraft How to Get What You Really Want.
Last year sometime I listened to It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now: How to Create Your Second Life at Any Age also by Barbara Sher. So now I am looking for this new one Refuse to Choose so I can finally validate the reason I am like this...
If you think you would like to find out more here is Barbara Sher's website.
So, I only thought I had nothing today...
But once I start typing, things just pour out. Useful things? Maybe not...But things in their own right. Maybe this blog is just a place to purge. All this stuff floating around in my brain, and I start typing and all the random knowledge I have filled my head with all these years just starts spilling out everywhere. Yes, it sometimes is messy, and disorganized. Sometimes it comes out in a jumble and may only make sense to me, and sometimes, not even to me...
But for what it is, it is that...
I really enjoy sitting down each day, when I can, and spilling out all the contents of my brain for your enjoyment...
No, this really isn't ALL the contents of my brain, I don't want to scare anyone away, so I will keep some thoughts to myself...those thoughts or in a journal hid under the mattress or maybe not, maybe in a drawer or in the bread box...I will never tell...
I just hope before I am to far gone with Alzheimer's, I remember to destroy the journals so my children aren't force to read them and finally have the proof for what they have feared---that their mother really was loony....Just kidding...

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