Seeking God's Will finding; God's Purpose and His blessings...

We had a wonderful service this morning at church. Bro. Weeks from Georgia was visiting and preached a wonderful sermon. It was titled: The Resurrection of Your Witness. It had to do with your life being a witness for God. It had special meaning for me. I have been praying for God to give me a peace about the decision we made to leave here. I have worried about it on so many levels...I often grapple with fulfilling God's purpose in my life. And for the last few years, I feel like I haven't been doing that. I feel as though I have been dormant in my walk with God. That I haven't been doing what I was called to do. I feel like a Caterpillar in a cocoon. But I have realized that, it isn't that I was sitting down on God, but God was doing a work on me, changing me into a vessel He could use.

When we have moved in the past, I always knew that God was there in the move. I knew that He was sending us where we needed to be to accomplish something He had for us to do. I struggled with the decision to leave Louisiana in 2000. I worried about being out of God's will. I prayed and sought God's will in the move. One night while sitting in church, our pastor at the time, Bro Robertson read a scripture for his text that night, and while standing there in that service, God gave me the peace that I had sought. I knew without a doubt that God was in it and we were going where God wanted us to be. He had opened that door. And I have always known that we were right where He needed us to be.

When coming to Little Rock four years ago, I felt God's tug for us to stay here. And things fell into place, Andrew got a job with a local company and we stayed. I knew there was a reason.

Little did I know then that those years would be years of testing and trial...

God brought us here for that purpose, He was doing a work in me, and I am sure in our family. I can only testify to what God has done in my life. Although the testing and trials haven't been easy, at times the load was so heavy, and I questioned the purpose. I know it was sent by God. Like the song says, "I never lost my faith".

There were times when I was so heavy and laden in the trial, that I could hardly hold myself upright. There were times I would go to church, and sit...and if you have ever been to any of our services you would understand that just sitting is a hard thing to do. But I would just sit and soak in the presence of God. I knew He was there, I saw Him moving among the people around me, but I was dry...I was in the trial. I was in the desert, the dry place. We all must go through them in this journey with God. But because of my strong faith, and because I have been in the journey so long, I knew God was there. I knew that God would never leave nor forsake me, no matter the trial, no matter how rough it got. Even when I couldn't feel Him there, I had faith that He was, and He was. I never doubted that God would eventually see me through, but none of us like to experience the pain that goes along with those times of testing and trial. I never lost faith, or thought of turning back, God has been to good to me. I never thought of turning away from God; where would I have gone?? Like I said earlier, I have been walking this journey to long, I've seen God do to much in my life and the lives of others around me. I've come to far to turn around now.

There were little things along the way. I like to call them little tokens of His love, that came my way, enough to keep me going, knowing they were sent from God just for me. Things that would only mean something to me. Things that God knew, I would realize were His doing.

I told God,

"God you could take this trial, you could make it go away with just a word."

God said to me in the still small way of His;

"Yes, I could speak to it and it would end, but I won't, because you have to go through this to get to where I want you to be. You must go through it...but I will be with you."

God's grace is sufficient. It is always enough!

He brought us through and I look back from the other side now, and I see what God was doing, I see why He brought me to this place. I had to go through it to get to this place I am today. It isn't anything that I can explain or put into words. My heart is full as I think on the blessing of God in my life. All the times He has been there, and faithful.

You never know what someone is going through. You never know the load someone is carrying. And if you have never been there, you don't recognize it. It is something that only experience brings. When you meet someone, or see someone, you don't know what they are carrying or where they are on this journey. If they are in the desert, or in lush green pastures. You need to be sensitive to those around you, the people you meet, the people God brings into your life. I believe that no one crosses our path accidentally. If you are sensitive and aware, God brings people into your life for a purpose.

God places you throughout your life in the places He wants you to be, where you can reach someone. Where you can encourage or help someone else. Until you have been through the fire, until you have experienced that place where you were just searching for a word, something, anything, just to know God hadn't forgotten where you were... until you have been there, you can't understand.

Recently God blessed me with the opportunity to be a blessing to someone. When God showed me this opportunity, at first, like so many times, I tried to find a reason that this wasn't God, but just me thinking these thoughts. You know, I tried to argue that maybe it wasn't God tell me to do this, but just my imagination...

Anyway, I told God,

"You know God, when I was going through a similar trial, I prayed for someone to come along and bless me this way, and no one did."

I am embarrassed to admit that I actually said that to God, but you know human nature.

And

in that still small, patient voice, God spoke to my spirit:

"I was the one that helped you, so you could do this for someone else. You can answer that prayer for someone else."

God wanted me to be a willing vessel to see someone elses need and do something about it.

Once again, I was blown away, I had to repent to God. My spirit was instantly aware that God had brought me through that place for a time like this. I said yes God I will do it. Just say the word, I will do it...And I did, and still am doing it when God directs. And you can't know just how God has blessed me because I was willing to say Yes...

These last few years of trial and testing; going through the fire...It was all worth it, because now I see. Now I understand. God wants to use me in a way that I was afraid to be used in the past. I had to get victory over my fears in a certain area of my life.

I trusted Him through the trial, the testing, the dry times, in times of drought. Now I have to trust Him with the harvest, I have to trust Him in the times of plenty; with the blessing. Knowing that the blessing comes from Him, and I need to be a vessel for that blessing to flow through, to others...It has to flow. You can't let it get stopped up, or you cut your own supply off.

Back to the service this morning; I once again got conformation from God that yes, indeed, He had opened this door that we are about to walk through. But I know that it is for a purpose, not just because it was a better job with more opportunity, but a purpose in the spiritual. And the message this morning was directed right to me. The last few years, while going through this trial, God was working on me, so that I would be ready and able to be used by Him.

They sang this song at the end of the message that has always been my hearts song...

Lily of the valley

Let your sweet aroma fill my life

Rose of sharon show me

How to grow in beauty

In God's sight

Fairest of ten thousand

Make me a reflection of your light

Daystar shine down on me

Let your love shine through me

In the night

Lead me, Lord, I'll follow

Anywhere you open up the door

Let your word speak to me

Show me what I've never seen before

Lord, I want to be a witness

You can take the wrong and make it right

Daystar shine down on me

Let your love shine through me

In the night

Lord, I see a world that's dying

Wounded by the master of deceit

Groping in the darkness

Haunted by the years of past defeat

But then I see you standing near me, Lord

Shining with compassion in your eyes

I pray Jesus shine down on me

Let your love shine through me

In the night

Lead me, Lord, I'll follow

Anywhere you open up the door

Let your word speak to me

Show me what I've never seen before

Lord, I want to be a witness

You can take the wrong and make it right

Daystar shine down on me

Let your love shine through me

In the night

Daystar shine down on me Let your love shine through me

In the night

Jesus shine down on me

Let your love shine through me

In the night

God, once again, gave me that peace. Knowing that He is with me and His love and grace are sufficient. And although I can't see the whole journey ahead, all I need is enough light for each step of the way, knowing that He is holding my hand and leading me.

I look back over the last few years, and now I understand...It all makes sense...

Thanks for letting me share just a little piece of what is on my heart today. I could fill books with the things of God and what He's done for me. There are so many things God has done in my life.

God is good---ALL the time...