Life...Day to Day...

It is Tuesday already of another week...where is this time going?  Seems like the world has sped up and the days and weeks just fly by like a blur.  Even when I don't have a lot going on, it just seems like every time I turn around another week is starting.
I really don't have much to say, but it has been about two weeks since I posted anything, so I figured I needed to write something.  I have been in a writing slump lately and just don't seem to want to take time to sit down and think about what I am writing. 

When I got back on blogger I discovered that they have changed the format some and I can't find the spellcheck, so if anything is misspelled, please over look it because I am a bit lazy today and decided to just type without dwelling on it to much.

Not a lot going on in my world this past week.  Just the usual routines of house work, cooking, kids, homeschooling...
Lauren has been gone for several days.  She went down to Charleston, SC to nanny for our pastor and his wife while they were at a retreat.  Their youngest child is four and she didn't want to stay behind, so instead of Lauren staying with all three of the kids, they left the older two with someone else and took Lauren along with them.  She had a great time...enjoyed the resort and having a villa to herself.  It was almost like living on her own again for a few days.

It was Andrew's weekend to work, so Megan, Noah and I went shopping Saturday. Noah wanted to go to the mall so he could ride the carousel.  So as much as I despise going to the mall, especially on a Saturday, I relented and we fought the crowds at the local mall.

They both ended up getting a few things while we were there, so I suppose the trip wasn't a total waste of time.

Sunday AM we had a good service.  We are in a four-part teaching series about "Starving for Love."  The first week was geared toward the family, the second was about spouse to spouse relationships, this week was about our relationship with the community.  They have all been very good.

Well, I am still reading Jon Katz books, have been really slow at it lately.  To many distractions I suppose.  But I am rather enjoying the books.  I am reading "A Dog Year" now.

Still have a couple more of his to read.  I don't know what I will read next, after I finish all of Katz' books.  I picked up "Clay's Quilt" the other day.  I have intended to read it for years now, but never have gotten to it.  It was written by a guy in Kentucky who lived a couple of counties over from us when we were in Kentucky.  It was actually published when we lived in Kentucky.  When I worked at the library one of the ladies that worked there told me that her daughter worked with him.  He was a mail carrier for the post office.  So I have put it on my to read list for years, but for some reason it always slipped by.  I was in the H section looking for Hosseini, the author of "The Kite Runner" and I found Silas House's book.  So I decided to get it and read it finally.  So I think I will start it next.

Well, I am just rambling more than usual so I will shut up for now.  Maybe next time I will have something more interesting or profound to share...until then I will leave you with a couple of quotes...

Today's Quotes

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.

~Danny Kaye~

Life is the sum of all your choices.

~Albert Camus~

 

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

~Charles Schulz~

Chicago at the Close of Summer

A trip that almost wasn't; due to weather conditions we ended up in Chicago at the close of summer. It is a trip we will never forget.

I was going through so photos on my computer and I ran across some I had taken in Chicago two years ago. It was the end of summer and we had a trip planned for Florida. However, the week leading up to our trip the weather caused us to change our direction. There was a hurricane in the gulf and they were predicting landfall in Florida during the time we were to be there. So we begin to discuss alternate plans for our family trip.

We discussed flying to San Diego, because the kids really wanted to go to the beach. However, trying to get a last minute flight proved to be an impossible endeavour. Did I mention that our trip would include the Labor Day holiday? Anyway, I was unable to find tickets that would guarantee that we could all sit together on the flights and the prices were more than I wanted to pay...so we begin to discuss where we would like to spend our holiday.

Since getting a flight to anywhere at that late date was out of the question, we got the map out and literally drew a circle that would take us ten hours or less to drive from Little Rock.

Because going south was risking running into hurricane weather, and we've already been south, we decided to go north...Chicago was our pick city.

We drove into Chicago after dark and the lights of the city were beautiful. There was a warm breeze blowing and the city was hustling. I had made reservations at a major hotel at the Magnificent Mile. After getting into our rooms, we ordered some of that famous Chicago Style Pizza for our supper and looked out over the city from our seventh floor suite. We were all tired from the trip but decided to wake early the following day to start our fun.

We spent a few days sightseeing, shopping till we dropped and enjoying the cuisine. We walked all over Chicago, at least our part of it. We logged in quite a few miles on that trip.

On Labor Day evening we walked down to the beach at Lake Michigan to enjoy the sand and water once more. The day after Labor Day the beach closes and the kids go back to school, and Chicagoans get ready for winter.

Being from Louisiana where we are notorious for only two seasons...summer and not summer...I wasn't prepared for the sudden change of weather. It was just as though someone flipped the summer switch off the next day. The evening before we stayed at the beach until about 10:00pm. We walked back to the hotel and down the Magnificent Mile one last time before we were to leave town and it was a wonderful summer night. Warm breezes blew from the water and everyone was dressed in beach wear and flip flops.

The following morning we woke to rain and cold winds. It was as though winter had come while we slept. Driving out of Chicago was a much different trip than driving in. It seemed we had stay much longer than a few days. We came in during the summer time, as we left winter was moving into the city. I suppose Chicagoans are prepared for such weather changes, but for us, we were only prepared for summer weather.

As we drove down the street, people were hailing taxi's dressed in long trench coats, hats and scarves. It felt as though we, in our lightweight clothes and summer shoes, had suddenly been dropped into another world. It felt foreign to me, unlike the place I had come to know and enjoy in the week prior. It reminded me that every place has its good qualities and bad. The day before I was thinking that I could get use to living here, but on that rainy and cold morning, I realized that living there might not be so great after all.

As we drove further south, back toward Little Rock I thought back on the week. If I go back to Chicago, I think I will go again during that same time of year, so that I can once again enjoy the closing days of summer. Only this time I will be prepared.

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Restless Wednesday

The last few days there has been a restlessness about me. I can't seem to settle into the daily routines like I normally do. After being sick for what seemed like a month, we all are feeling much better now. I suppose that might have something do to with the sudden restlessness that has enveloped me as of late.

For so long we were inside and not feeling well, and it was nice to have the haven of home. Wrapping ourselves in Granny's warm quilts and spending long days in our pj's were welcomed activities. While we were sick, those things were nice and comforting, but coming out of the sickness, much like coming out of a long dark tunnel, we are experiencing a bit of "cabin fever." At least I know this to be true of myself. I realized this morning what I was feeling and why I seemed to be discontented and not able to concentrate for long periods of time. I have found that even the task of reading is not an inviting one, as much as I love to read and even though I am in the middle of a very interesting book, I just can't seem to keep my mind there now.

I was looking back through some photographs and found these two. They were both taken last March. We had just come to North Carolina looking for a house to move into and the weather had been bad. We left Little Rock and followed the cold and snow all the way. And true to this type of weather, I had been sick for the whole trip. Eventually ending up in the emergency room at 3 o'clock in the morning.

We weren't having any luck, after days of searching for a place we wanted to live, and being so sick and drug hazed, I wanted nothing more than a reprieve from the stress of everything. The four of us had been staying in a fairly small one room hotel for several nights, spending our days riding around in the car for hours looking at one house after another. Desperately trying to learn the layout of the area and decipher where we wouldn't mind spending the next year and a half of our lives. Noah, who was three at the time, was very restless and tired of being confined, and was especially rowdy and cranky thus adding to the stress of it all. Not getting enough rest and due to the influence of medication I was so worn down, I just wanted to be left alone to sleep. But that wasn't to be, there was work to be done and in short order. The longer it took for us to find a place to live, the less time we would have once back in Little Rock to actually get everything ready for the movers to come pack.

One day we just decided to forgo the usual routine of searching and chose instead to have a "play day." A day for a road trip, to clear our heads and come back refreshed and ready to tackle the task at hand. This was just such a day...

We drove south to Wilmington and then to the coast ending up at Carolina Beach. Driving along the coast road I could smell the ocean. Looking out across the inlet I could see the sails from the boats in their docks. Being a lover of all things nautical, I felt an ease and a sudden peace begin to flood my troubled spirit. I knew that everything would be fine. I relaxed and was comforted.

The sun was warm and the breezes light off the Atlantic. We spent several hours basking in the glow and the warmth. I'll never forget how the sand felt underneath me as I lay there listening to the sound of the ocean waves.

While Andrew and the kids played nearby, I closed my eyes and slept. It was the most wonderful sleep...The warm sun shining down on me, warming my body, but also my soul. I know this sounds strange, but it felt to me as though God was reaching down and healing my body and my spirit. After that day I begin to feel better, we found a house and went back to Little Rock and survived yet another move.

So on this day, almost a year later, the long winter and sickness once again has me in need of some warm sun and ocean breezes. However, since the weather is not cooperating, I suppose just a road trip would do. Someplace I haven't been or rarely go. Something new for my eyes to see; a place to breath different air.

I suppose my nature is such that I often need to kick out of the rut I dig for myself. I can go some time on the same track, but then I reach a breaking point where I have to have a change. It doesn't necessarily need to be a permanent change, but something to break things up a bit.
Something that will help me to change the way I view the rut. Sometimes people get so bogged down in the daily routine they become like a kiddie ride at the carnival. They go round and round on the same track for so long that they see things the same way they always saw them...nothing changes, they stop growing, expanding their minds and lives. They die before they die. They become the walking dead.

I suspect my gypsy ways are a direct result of the fear of that happening to me. I have watched people who day in day out, year in year out, have lived the same lives, driven the same roads, done the same things...I decided long ago that I couldn't live that way. It may be fine for some folks, maybe that is the life that fulfills them, makes them happy. Not me, I would wither away, shrivel up and become a shell of myself. My creativity would dry up and turn to dust. Change is for me a way to recharge to view things from a different prospective. A way to open my eyes and really see again. Change has become my best friend; my closest companion. I seek it out, need it and desire it regularly. Without it, I could not exist...it is just a part of who I am.

Some people would see that as a character flaw, and I would not deny that perhaps it is one. But just as some people seek security and routine, I desire change, new places, new territory, new challenges, new prospectives. Perhaps it is just part of my nature, my personality, a part of me that was shaped by some event in my past. But I think it is just the way I was wired. An extention of the same nature in us that causes some people to like some things and detest others. What we call our preferences...

I know often times our lives become such that we are no longer free to indulge our preferences. But in the midst of living a responsible life, finding little things that bring life back into our rut; give us a new outlook, a new attitude; can be a welcome respite.

Due to the weather and prior appointments, I will not be taking a road trip this week, but I am looking at and planning one for the very near future. Something to shake up the daily grind and blow some refreshing breezes through my staid routine.

Winter Blast

Dispatches from the homefront
A Pictorial

Wordless Wednesday

Post Alley

Seattle, Washington '08

A week of being sick...

Nothing much has been going on this week. We have all been sick. I think Lauren brought something back with her from Atlanta last week and we have all taken turns passing it around. I think she and I have had it worse than Megan and Noah. Noah just had a little runny nose and a slight cough. Megan is stopped up and blowing her nose. But Lauren and I have been really stopped up with a congested cough and feeling awful!

Because of this our week has been pretty slow and filled with drug induced sleep and hazy thinking and very little conversation. We have all pretty much found our own little spaces in the house and nested. Noah has enjoyed more time on the wii this week. Mario Kart can keep him satisfied for quite some time.

The girls did spend all day one day this week working on Lauren a new photography blog site. Megan designed it and did all the necessary computer magic to make it come together. She is really good at that. She taught herself all the codes and computer language to get the colors and designs and everything working together to make the site work. I am amazed at how she does it. I wish I could find a class that she could take that would give her a little more instruction and she could have her own website design business. She is really good at it. Check out this site:

www.aloimagery.blogspot.com

I have been doing some reading this week. I read a humorous book about southern mama's

Now I am reading one of Jon Katz books. I have never read any of his work, but picked this one up at the library and thought it sounded interesting. So far I am not disappointed.

My reading interest seem so varied that I usually end up with a stack of book at the library that are so different from each other. The librarian even commented about the wide range of books that I was checking out. I never know what I will be in the mood for, so I try to cover all the bases. Right now I am not really doing a lot of fiction reading. I usually have a stack of books by the time I make it back to the fiction section and I usually say the same thing every time...next time I will start in the fiction section and work my way back up. But I never do, something always catches my attention in the nonfiction and I get carried away into book land...

Since I was a child, I have always loved the library. My mom took me to the library and got my first card when I was around three years old. From that point on I was so amazed that you could go to a place with all those books and get a stack and bring them home...then go back next time and get another stack and bring them home to read. Yes, I suppose I was easily amazed by simple things...

From the time I was old enough to read, I have wished that there was some type of machine that I could hook to my brain and go through the library and take in all the words and read all the books...like scanning them with a computer but understanding and retaining each one. There were so many I wanted to read, but not enough time to read them all. I am still that way...I have to limit myself each time to a tote bag full. I know in my heart that I will not have the time to read all of them but I have to attempt it.

So I leave the library with wide eyes and pounding heart...hardly able to wait until I get home to start the first one. I often look through them while stopped at red lights on the way home. Deciding which one will be the first. I usually know that by the time I get home. I have picked out the one that I will devour, like a hungry wolf devouring its prey. The first one gets read quickly, usually by the second day I am ready to begin the next one on the list. This book will take me a little longer to complete, and on and on it goes down the line of books until it is time to return them to the library.

Usually I am a few days late returning them. I always have a fine at the library...it's just my way of helping support such an awesome place. One dollar here, seventy-five cents there...sometimes it may even get as high as three or four dollars depending on what is going on in my life at the time. In some places that we have lived you can renew them online, and I will do that, but in other places you have to call to renew. I'm not much of a phone person, so I just let it go and willingly pay the fine.

Once I even had the privilege of working at a library. I loved it! I got to see all the new books that came in before they were put on the shelves. I actually got paid to do something I loved. I was able to read, read, and read some more...It was great. For a small town, it was one of the best libraries I had seen.

Of course, living in Little Rock was great...there were so many branches of the library that it was like an adventure. Each branch had its own feel to it, but they were all great with lots of great books. I could even visit more than one a day! Wow! Yes, I am easily amused...

I do love books and stories; reading and writing them. I am looking forward to starting this creative writing class on Monday. I just hope this sinus mess is all cleared up by then.

Well this wasn't the most interesting post I have written, but just a record of our week. Like a journal entry for my future self. One day I can compile all of these posts and sit and read them and remember how things were...I am sure it isn't of much interest to anyone else.

My Bucket List...or God's Purpose for Me.

The photo has no connection with the post...just a picture I took in Pike Place Market in Seattle last summer. While looking through my photos this one made me think of spring and made me think of Seattle...so it brought a smile to my face...in this cold, dead of winter, these flowers and the memories of Seattle were heart warming...

Well, I finally did it...being the commitment phobe and the semi-recluse that I have become, I stepped out of my comfort zone and did something I have wanted to do for a very long time.

I suppose I have begun to realize that I need to get to work on that "life list" or as some affectionately refer to it; "my bucket list". Or maybe I just ran out of excuses why I couldn't do it...

I signed up for a Creative Writing class at the local community college. It is a continuing ed course, and not one leading to a degree. I'm not seeking a degree, I already have one of those...I think it is in my dresser drawer upstairs...anyway...

I have always been an aspiring writer. I started making up and writing stories when I was old enough to put pencil to paper. Often times just making up stories without writing them down.

So I finally decided today was the day, or yesterday to be exact.

I went and signed up on the spot. I was so pumped and excited, ready to learn...but for some reason the instructor didn't show...they couldn't get in touch with her, I hope it wasn't anything serious. Last week I was looking at taking another class and the following day I heard on the news that the instructor was killed in a car crash.

Anyway, they will be in touch with us to discuss a make up day and next week there won't be class being that it is on Monday and next Monday is MLK day.

Which means we won't start for two weeks! I hope by then I haven't found some excuse for not continuing to take the class. However, the fact that they already have my money is a pretty good incentive to continue.

In all honesty, I am looking forward to it. I am hoping that I can hone my skills, learn some techniques to improve my writing and learn how to go about submitting my writing for possible publication.

The instructor is a long time writer for the newspaper and probably has lots of stories to tell about the business. From her photo she looks like a very pleasant, engaging person. She seems like someone who is encouraging and a mentor. The type of woman who is easy with a laugh and someone with whom you feel comfortable immediately. A confident person, comfortable in her own skin, someone with wisdom and compassion.

To think I got all that from looking at her photo. A photo that probably reminds her of the DMV photo on a drivers license that no one likes. But I have always been insightful that way, you know, reading things about people just by looking at them. Feeling their spirit...Oh, I never shared that talent with you? Well, that is one of many that I have been hiding, waiting for the right moment to share. Stick around, you never know just what you might discover about me next.

So for now, this being a new year and my theme being NEW YEAR, NEW ME, this is one thing I can cross of that list of mine...On my death bed, when I am 103, I can look back with fondness and remember that I did follow some of my dreams, I took a creative writing class...only God and the future knows if anything actually came of it...if I actually learned something and used it to pursue the dream of being a writer, well a paid writer...I have always been a writer...the point of this exercise is to see if I have the stuff to actually make it pay for me...we will see. In the meantime, I hope to have a good time, meet interesting people and broaden my horizons; or as Bruce Wilkinson says, allow God to expand my territory.

Started reading The Purpose Driven Life yesterday. Day one is a reminder that it isn't about me...I am here for a purpose, God's purpose to be exact. So even with all of my talk about following my dreams or doing something I've always wanted to do, I realize that above it all, I need to pursue God's purpose for this life.

God put each of us here for a specific purpose and like most people, I got sidetracked along the way, seeking my purpose. Now with the New Year, New Me mindset, I am not just marking off items that I selfishly want to do, I am seeking Him in each of these things...using the items to move me toward where He envisioned my life...Although some of them may cause you to ponder; how could running a 5k help you reach the place God wants you to be?

Well, I'm not sure, but I feel God's leading in that direction for some reason... I only have a little light to shine on the first step, I don't see the whole journey laid out before me. God usually doesn't work that way...it is about faith, trusting in Him that He knows where He is leading you...He sees the end from the beginning.

I truly believe that when you start in the right direction God will continue to give you a little more and a little more detail about what you are suppose to be doing along the way. The bible says that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart. That doesn't mean that He will grant all of your wishes and life will be grand. Sometimes I wish it did...well maybe, sometimes...

It means that He will put into you the desires that He has for your life. They will become your desires. They will replace the old, self serving desires that you once had for yourself. But He will put into you new desires, desires that you can pursue to take you further along the journey God put you on.

He gave each of us talents, and with those talents, He put desires to pursue those areas. He gives us an inclination toward those things. I don't know how becoming a runner or a writer could profit God or further His plan in my life, but I believe that He gave me those desires. I suspect it has something to do with the people I could meet while participating in these activities...because after all God is in the people business...and I don't believe you meet anyone by accident. I believe all of our encounters are God ordained...you have something to offer that person, or they have something that God wants them to share with you. I believe that you have a connection with certain people over others, because God has a purpose in that...

Things to remember: It isn't about me...It's all about Him...
Colossians 1:16 reminds us:

For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:

That means that we were created by Him and for Him. We were put here to fulfill His purpose...I know that I haven't been fulfilling that purpose...I have fallen far short of that purpose.

Do I know for what purpose I was put here? Not all of it, but I know that He is leading me in that direction... the more I shed of me, the more I seek Him, the further down that path I go. I don't see the whole picture, but that's okay...each day, if I seek Him He will direct me a little more and a little more. Will I ever be able to say, "this is it, this is the thing I was placed here for?" I don't know. There are probably many things we are placed here for; not great big things, just a lot of small, everyday things. Things we don't think of as purpose...but are things that in the end add up to a life pleasing to God...I think it is about relationship, about finding relationship with fellow travelers along this journey...

God put in me His Spirit, He gave me the revelation of Him, who He is and how to find Him...just as He gives to all that seek Him. Armed with just that is enough to keep someone busy for a lifetime. Sharing that with others...I use to become a bit overwhelmed with that task, trying to find a way to share that truth with people I meet. It isn't always easy for someone like me, someone who is shy and reserved. Someone who often feels intimidated by social situations...

...did I happen to mention that I have a tendency to be a border line recluse...

So at times relationships tend to be my problem...I have to push out of my comfort zone in order to reach out to people...yes, it is a big character flaw of mine...I understand that no man is an island...but some of us try, we eventually make ourselves a peninsula if not an island...(a little of my nutty geographical humor.)

But there are times when I know it is God pushing me, and I stretch myself to accomplish the task...but the last few years, I haven't been doing that...I have given in to that reclusive side and allowed the devil and my flesh to keep me from responding in the way I need to for God to use me to reach others for Him...

...so the task of sharing His word and His gospel becomes overwhelming to me. But God begins to deal with me, that it is about relationship, building relationships and allowing God to shine through me and He would draw them to Himself. But no one is going to see Him in me, if I am not doing the necessary work of building relationships.

My heart has always been about missions...I ALWAYS cry endless tears when a missionary comes with their stories and slides of the people in other countries who are in need of God. When they share their burden, I feel that burden, I have always dreamed of mission work and being the kind of person God could send... But I understand that my own choices have limited me in that area...I understand that I haven't allowed God to use me in that way, even though that is where my heart lies...

But I also realize that the lifestyle we live; the gypsy lifestyle, that takes us places we never knew we wanted to go, allows me the opportunity to fulfill that desire. Since Andrew works as a general contractor on government jobs, we travel and move around, a lot...it brings me in contact with so many people, so many people that like in those missionary slides, are lost and needing God...I used to understand that God was allowing me to follow that aspect of my heart...somewhere I lost that...somewhere I began to get bogged down in the day to day...I forgot what God had given me, the purpose for this way of life...if I couldn't go to foreign soil and share His love, He could move me around this country, bringing me in contact with so many people, so many hurting people who need His love...

...the question I posed to myself Sunday after Bro Mitchel did such a marvelous job of preaching about our purpose...Are you fulfilling that purpose that God put you in each of these places to fulfill?

Unfortunately, the answer had to be NO! A loud and resounding NO! My spirit yelled out NO, NO, NO!

Where does that leave me? Back on my knees, back to repentance, and back to seeking His purpose for me...Understanding again, as so many times, I am in much need of Him and His mercy...I am in much need of Him...without His help, I can do nothing...but through Him I can do all things.

God doesn't require more of us than He equips us to give...He places in us the desires to follow His leading...the interests He puts in our hearts are to help us come closer to that dream He had for our lives when He created us...

I am again recommitting my life and purpose to Him, Asking Him to put His desires in me and give me the necessary skills to be successful at the tasks He gives me...Whatever and where ever that may be.