On The Homefront...or tales from the homestead

Happy Tuesday! Had a great weekend. Didn't do much, just enjoyed.

Got a busy week ahead and Noah's birthday is Sunday. Can't believe he will be four years old! Sometimes it seems impossible that he has been here that long.

Nothing much going on around here, just the usual daily life. Got to get Megan's school year going. High school is going to be different. I am enrolling her in a program from Bob Jones University. She will be doing online school. I think that will work out well for her. This way we can keep exact records of her progress and her high school credits. She will also have teachers other than myself to help her with the difficult subjects: i.e. Algebra, Algebra II, and Geometry. Did I mention I don't do those subjects very well? Anyway, I felt that she needed someone who actually understood those subjects to teach her. Lauren had a tutor at times to help with math, but since this online option is available, I decided to go with it instead.

She seems excited about it and seems to have a whole new attitude about school in general. Lets hope it lasts through the year!

I have Noah a preschool book to help him start to read. My goal with him this school year will be teaching him to read. Then next year we will start working on the other things. I want him to get a good reading foundation and learn phonics.

Lauren is working on her Medical Coding program and should be finished in the spring. Then I am hoping she will continue on and finish the Rad Tech program she had originally planned on doing. She says she would like to go to Bible College for a little while just for the experience at least. I hope if she is serious about it, that she can do that soon. She wants to go to Indiana Bible College. She has some friends there and has visited the area before. I just want what God's will is for her life. If she follows His plan then she will be successful and happy.

She is leaving Thursday to go to California with the Summit Youth group from church. They are going to sing and be a part of an outreach type thing over the weekend. She is excited about that. They fly out Thursday morning early, so if you would please be in prayer for them that they have a safe trip.

Tonight Andrew's company is doing an appreciation dinner for the employees, so we will be going to eat out for that. I will get to see Dick and Nancy again. We were in Kentucky with them and Nancy and I use to get up in the mornings and walk through the neighborhood together. Dick came back out of retirement to do this job, but I haven't seen either of them since we have been here. They have a home in Charlotte and he stays during he week here. She doesn't come with him often and there hasn't been an opportunity to visit with them since coming here.

Tomorrow Megan gets her bottom braces on. She has had her top ones for a couple of months. She is excited about that. Her top teeth are really looking good even after such a short time. So hopefully all will go well. She has been trying to put on weight. She finally reached 90 pounds! She doesn't realize that one day she will look back and be wishing she wouldn't have rushed the pounds on! Funny, I remember myself at close to her age. When I turned 15 I got my drivers licenses and told them I weighed 100 pounds, although I only weighed about 95. But all of my friends had passed 100 and I felt like such a baby weighing so little! Funny how I have spent many years battling pounds...

While cleaning out some things in the garage that had been stored, I ran across journal after journal that I had through the years and the one thread that ran through all of them was; I have never been happy with my weight and the condition of my body. I had written my weight and my goals and kept food journals for years...I was really jolted by this...

Apparently that is one thing I have grappled with for so many years...even at times when I didn't even need to lose weight, I wasn't happy with where my body was...I started thinking that apparently one goal for so much of my adult life has been to be a good weight and be in good physical shape. I'm not talking about like a model or the idea that we see in the magazines and through the media of how a woman is suppose to look. That isn't reality. But I am talking about feeling good about where my weight is but also being physically healthy. One goal I have always had was to run a marathon. To be physically able to have the stamina to run a marathon.

I remember as far back as the summer between my junior and senior year of high school, I started running. I wanted to be on the track team in my senior year of high school. I really enjoyed my runs. Of course, I had no idea of how to run correctly and ended up hurting my ankles. So I gave up on the idea. But through the years I have wished I could become a runner.

After reading through all of the journals I found that I had written, I realized that I had to work to obtain the one goal that has consumed so much of my adult life... even if I wasn't actively working toward that goal, I was dreaming of reaching that goal. If something has taken up so much of my life through the years, it much be something I really wanted. Now is the time to work hard to make that happen.

I started going to Curves in June, but slacked off through the summer. Now I have committed to it again and have been going regularly. I have changed my diet, and eat healthy and keep track of my calories. I quit Dr Pepper's and cut out the junk. I only fuel my body with good things...an have an occasional treat, such as the fried oyster Po' Boy I made the other day. But mostly it is lean meats, broiled, boiled, grilled or baked. I eat a lot of seafood! That's not a hard thing, since I could live on seafood. I have changed other habits and replaced them with good things. So far I have lost right at nine pounds! And I am feeling great! I am feeling very positive and know that I can do this...I am going to finally reach that goal of being a healthy weight. I am going to work on becoming the physically active person that I have always desired to become.

My dad always had a saying when I was growing up: Mind over Matter! It is actually quite accurate. 99% of accomplishing something is in your mind. If you set your mind to do it, you can accomplish it.

Success starts in your head, taking small steps forward. I tell myself; Just for today I will eat right and I will exercise. Don't worry about tomorrow, don't worry about the road ahead, just work one day at a time. Eventually you will reach that goal!

Life Lists

Several years ago I worked with a young man, who was just out of high school. He had made a life list. One of the things on his list was to run a marathon. He had been working toward that goal and was going to travel to Florida to run in his first marathon.

I had heard of Life Lists before, and had read of people making them, but I had never actually made one myself.


Yes, I have made lists of things that I would like to accomplish, but not a list set in stone of things I definitely was going to work toward before I died. Most of my lists were just dreams I had about doing things. They were always flexible, and often times I would forget about them.


Anyway, reaching toward the ripe old age of 43, which I will be in November, I have decided to try my hand at a Life List. I plan to write down things that I would really like to do, things I want to work toward accomplishing before I am either to old, or dead...

I think the old or dead part is why I never made a list like that before, because I didn't want to think about being old, or dead! I want my list to be a living list, one that continues to grow and expand as I mark some things off as accomplished. I know one thing that I plan to put on that list...


Hang gliding! I have always wanted to hang glide. When I was a child and we came to North Carolina one of the first times, I saw someone hang gliding and I was hooked. I wanted to do it so desperately...but life comes and things get in the way of those childhood dreams, and sometimes we forget what they were.


The other day I was looking at things to do in North Carolina and there is was; Hang Gliding. Something re-awakened within me. I spent many years in fear of those kind of things, that I had forgotten that I did have an adventurer spirit about me at one time. So I got the information and have set in my mind that I will go hang gliding before we leave North Carolina. I am sure that you can do it many other places, but because it was here that I first acquired the dream so many years ago, I think it is only fitting that I fulfill that dream here.


So I have the first item for my Life List. Not that it will be the first I accomplish and mark off, but it will be the first added to the list.


The second item is to run in a 5K, a 10K, a half marathon, and eventually a full marathon. The exercise and weight loss will go a long way in getting me there.


Every journey no matter how long, begins with the first step. This is my first step toward that journey...


Wow! All of that from just a few sessions at Curves! That place is amazing! It is just what I needed at this moment in my life. I have thought about change, I have talked and written about change...now is the appointed time to do something about it...


So, what's on your Life List if you have one, or what would go on one if you were to start one?


No matter where you are in this journey called Life, it isn't to late to accomplish things you want to accomplish.


My Mom and I were talking the other day about this, how as you get older, you have to start dropping some things off your list...Somethings are impossible to accomplish at some points in life. I know that I will never be able to accomplish some of the dreams I had a 18, or 25...even some of the dreams I had at 35 won't be accomplished, because they were things that as you get older, you are less likely to be able to accomplish. You could probably still do some of them, but because of where you are now in your life, you may not desire to work toward those things. You may want to spend your time on other dreams. After our conversation she did something she has wanted to do for years; she participated in a small way in the Relay For Life walk in a town near her. She walked in the survivors walk... She is a two time breast cancer survivor! And she gives all the glory to God for bringing her through! Knowing that her life mission is not complete, because He chose to let her stay here instead of taking her home...I am thankful for that...maybe the fact that I still need my mom, is one reason He has allowed her to stay here...

Anyway, there will be dreams that we have to drop from our lists because of age, health, time, life circumstances. I can let some of mine go now without the bitterness I once felt toward the unaccomplished goals in my life. I came to understand that some dreams and goals weren't for obtaining, but bringing us to a new place that we get on a different path.
That's okay. I can deal with those dreams that are behind and I can no longer attain, or no longer care to do what is required to attain them.


I don't usually quote movies, I rarely watch them, but one of my favorite quotes from a movie was quoted by Robert Kincaid (Clint Eastwood) in The Bridges of Madison County.

"The old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but I am glad that I had them."

That is how I feel about some of the dreams I had in my early years. I had to drop some; like the backpacking around Europe thing. It's kind of hard to do that with a family. I am sure you could, but that was more of a before kids thing...However, some of those dreams are coming back around and are still achievable, like hang gliding.


Let's face it. The life you dreamed of when you graduated from high school is usually not the same life you dream of having when you reach 40. I know mine isn't. That is why it is so hard for someone to decide at 18 what they want to invest their life doing in a career for the next 40 years of their lives. Some people do, some people are just born knowing what they were here to do...others of us, like myself, still don't know! We just move through the days and years doing those things that life brings us. Sometimes I feel like a boat on open waters with no way to steer and no set destination...just moving along with the tides and currents.


The difference is, by giving myself over to God, I have faith that He is guiding my vessel and that He will take me where He wants me to go. He will bring me to the places and in contact with the people that will somehow impact my life and help me to become what He wants me to be. We don't become and then do, it is a journey we are on until God calls us home. When we become, then He takes us home to be with Him. When we accomplish what He put us here to accomplish, our mission is complete. So I am glad that I haven't accomplished mine yet. I am still trying to find mine, but in the process, I am living each day trying to move closer to that goal. Maybe Life itself was the mission----


So with all of that said; I am thinking of things that I would really like to spend my time working toward. Some are large, important things, some are small unimportant to the whole scope of life things, but things I find enjoyable anyway. Some will be personal in nature; inside work; as I spoke of before on this blog. Others will be just for fun type things, like hang gliding. Some will have lasting impact, others will just be for the moment things...

With two things to put on my list, now I have to decide what do I write this list on? It seems like such a special, life altering list should be written on special paper and displayed so that it would be visible...where do people keep a Life List? Some people just write things down on paper and keep it in their wallets, others put it on their computers...

Since I have a tendency to misplace lists, I don't know about the whole paper and wallet thing. And with computers crashing like they do, maybe that isn't such a good idea either...

I suppose I will write my Life List in my journal, that is the one thing that I will hold on to and will always know where to find it.

There are actually web sites devoted to this very thing. Check out www.43things.com.

Abundance blog will help you get started on your Life List.

And check out this book; Creating Your Best Life.

Hopefully this will inspire someone to remember the dreams they once had and begin to work to make them a reality. Remember a Life List isn't about just marking things off, like a grocery list, but the enjoyment of working toward that goal and enjoying the moment while you are making it a reality...

Life really is short! My grandmother who passed away at 94, looked back over her life and expressed how quickly it passed. So even if we are blessed with 94 good years, it gets by quickly and often we put things off and say, "I'll get around to it sometime." Often times we get caught up with raising a family, working, paying bills and seeing to others that we forget to see to ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I don't advocate selfishness, and neglecting responsibility. But I don't think even the busiest of us can't take out a little time to enjoy ourselves...

I am beginning to ramble; surprise surprise; and this post is getting entirely to long, so I will just end with those famous Nike words: JUST DO IT!

Shout out for Curves!!

I am loving Curves! I joined Wednesday and I have been every day since, except today, because of course, today is Sunday and they aren't open. I am feeling a little burn in my muscles, but not to much that I can't continue to do the exercise. It is amazing how just a little effort makes so much difference. No there isn't a visible difference in my weight or my body, but there is a mental difference. I feel much better about things; about my weight and how I look. Just making the effort to start is the hardest part, but there is such a big payoff in just my attitude and the way I feel about so many things now.

I know that exercise is such a mood lifter. I can remember when I use to walk a lot. I would get so pumped up and feel so good after a long walk. Exercise is the best cure for mild depression there is. It just gets you feeling good and gives you an attitude adjustment!

So I highly recommend Curves if you are near one, and can join. It works great for me, because I am much more motivated to go up the street a couple of miles to exercise for thirty minutes, than I am to get outside and walk in the heat or go into the garage and get on my exercise equipment. Hopefully after going to Curves for a while, I will find the motivation to do those things too.

Another day in paradise...why not?

I went to Curves again yesterday evening. When Andrew got in from work, I was ready to go. I had cooked supper before hand and left it to finish. It had been the most awful day I have had in years...

When I got there I just worked all my frustrations out on those machines. I had a good work out and felt pretty good afterwards. I plan to go again this evening.

Megan's birthday is coming up soon, so I have to get to making plans...

Lauren is flying up here the end of June, so I have to get started planning our family vacation. I know with the economy like it is, we really should keep it low keyed. Maybe a trip to D.C. or even closer to home; The Outer Banks. But I am just not into it yet, to much other stuff rattling around in my head. I really don't know where everyone wants to go, so I suppose we all need to get together on some plans.

We are planning a trip back to Arkansas in August for Camp Meeting and then, Wow, by that time summer will be almost over and we will be getting ready to start school again. Time just seems to fly...We've been here for two and half months. In someways it seems much longer than that, but in other ways, time has flown by...

Well I sound like an old timer, talking about how quickly the years seem to get by...

First Visit

My first visit to Curves went well, other than the fact I had a bursting headache. I woke up to a migraine day...

I knew it couldn't be good when it started with a headache and a sore spot the size of a half dollar on my forehead.

I immediately got up and took something, the wrong thing apparently, because it didn't work.

A few hours later I took something else, and it didn't help. The headache has progressively gotten worse as the day wears on.

I had the appointment at noon today, so I went for my weigh in, measurements and first workout. My weight was no surprise, I weigh sometimes on a daily basis. The scales are right there in the bathroom, so each morning I usually stumble over and weigh, as though I think maybe just maybe somehow it will be different, better; less...but it stays pretty consistent--FAT!

The measurements were a surprise. I don't do measurements...I just know by the size of my clothes that the measurements are too large...

A 12/14 may not be much for some people, but my body structure and my build doesn't need to be that big. I don't carry weight well...I am under tall and over wide!! I should be wearing an 8 and no larger for my bone structure.

My goals are to wear a 6/8 and be 40 pounds lighter...we will see if I can achieve it and how long it takes. A couple of years ago it only took me three months or so to lose 20 pounds. All I did then was cut my caloric intake to 1200-1500 calories a day, quit drinking Dr Pepper, started eating fruits and veggies and lean meat. I cut way down on the bread and pasta's, and didn't eat after 7:00 or so at night. If I did eat anything after then it would be a light snack, like an apple or yogurt with a little fruit. I rarely exercised...I almost seemed to easy...I suppose because it was to easy to take off, it was even easier to give up those good habits and gain it all back in half the time it took to take it off.

I would once and for all love to get rid of this demon...this monkey off my back...I started thinking, what if? What if I could lose it, what if I could actually be happy with my body and my weight again after all these years of fighting with it?

I think I need to start asking myself every day---What if? What if I did this or What if I did that? Then what? Could I change my life that way? Could I accomplish things I have only dreamed about?

Those Forty Pounds are my what if?

What is yours?

For a little motivation I have these photo's of myself from 20 years ago. I was wearing my bathing suit and I can't believe I looked like that. Not that I had a perfect body, far from it, but I was at a good weight for my size and height. I was in fairly good shape because I walked a lot back then.

These photo's are going to be my inspiration. I am going to look at them every morning and at any time through out the day that I feel tempted to snack or eat something I shouldn't. Especially when I am tempted to drink Dr Pepper by the gallons like I tend to do. Hopefully they can be the push I need to really follow through and make it happen this time.

Battling the weight demon is one reason I want to get into better shape, but another reason has to do with getting older, and feeling older. I want to feel better physically and mentally. I got to thinking one day that Noah weighs 40-41 pounds and for me, it is like I am carrying Noah around everywhere, because I have this extra 40 pounds on me that I don't need. No wonder I stay so tired and I am dragging. Because when I do actually carry him around, I get very tired...Having an extra 40 pounds on my body is just that, carrying around my child everywhere I go all the time. That is very hard on my body and I need to get that off so I can feel much better. It is bad enough just with the normal getting older syndrome, but going into it with extra pounds, makes it much worse...

Hopefully today's momentum will continue and carry me through. If I could get through the exercise routine today, when my head is splitting, surely I can do it without much problem on the days I feel fine.

I finally did it!

Well after much debate and not being able to come up with a good excuse not to do it, I finally did it!

I joined Curves...

I have to lose some weight. I have to get into better physical shape. I have to start exercising again...

There is a Curves about 2.5 miles from my house. It isn't to expensive. It only takes about 30 minutes at a time...

So no more excuses. I am going to do this. I will lose weight and I will get into better physical shape. That is my goal and I will do it...

I go tomorrow for my first weigh in and workout. I plan to try to go at least three evenings a week to start. I am sick of feeling tired and draggy and I am tired of carrying this extra weight around. So this is my first step to change all of that.

Thoughts for the Day

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self

~aldous huxley~

You are the change that you seek!

~unknown~

I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better

~Georg C. Lichtenberg~